Wednesday, January 2, 2008


To: All Staff
From: Kyle
Re: Dallas Franks Recovery Fund

Many of you have expressed concern about the massive medical bills being incurred by our V.P. of Client Services, Dallas Franks, as he recovers from his tragic automobile wreck last week.

Regrettably, the agency's Employee Insurance Plan only covers the first $500 of bandages, x-rays and topical ointments in cases of gross bodily catastrophe. As you might imagine, Dallas' medical bills will far exceed that amount.

That's why I've made extraordinary arrangements with Lehigh Regional to help defray Dallas' medical expenses. I'm pleased to announce that the agency will cover a full 80% of his hospital bill for the next 30 days.

How can you help? Here are two ways:

First, you can donate to the Dallas Franks Recovery Fund. As an incentive, the agency will match 2% of your donation, up to the first $100. Please see our Human Resources girl, Sharon Cake, for more details.

Secondly, you can work politically to help fight the mounting costs of health care faced by the hard-working doctors of this nation. As President Bush has explained, frivolous lawsuits have left our doctors paying crushingly high insurance premiums. This crisis drives up the cost of health care for everyone, including good, honest Americans like our friend and colleague, Dallas Franks.

Please support your Republican candidates as they work to reform our crippled national health care system. They're truly concerned about the problems faced by middle-class Americans like you, me, and Dallas Franks.

Ronald Reagan once said, "It seems to me that government puts a monkey wrench in the gears of our Great Republic." Please honor both President Reagan and Dallas Franks by working together for change in '08.



Drake Melvoins, Accounting Department said...

Have Mr. Frank's contributions to this company really been so worthwhile? Everyone has heard the rumors of him and Sharon Cake at the Christmas Party, and I didnt think this company supported such dubious values.

I say pull the plug on this useless bastard.

Anonymous said...

And I think he voted for Clinton TWICE!